Stumble

About the time he showed up in the middle of the night.

I stumbled.

I was paralyzed in fear,

But when I finally got the courage to move,

I stumbled.

The inability to move

Is something I've known before

I could use it to my advantage,

Keep an angry face and it seems strong.

But to stumble when

I needed to stand tall.

I felt so weak

With every shaky step.

I didn't hesitate in my hits

No more than I felt polite consideration

But they didn't land right

And I couldn't throw them the way I wanted.

My body was shaking

Starting deep in my bones

And working out to my skin,

I couldn't take a step.

I was in control,

I was strong,

I was all I should be.

I was so scared.

Nothing would happen,

I knew that for sure.

But I didn't know if I could be

All I needed to be.

I needed to be strong,

But I couldn't be the bad guy,

I had to stand up

But I shouldn't fight.

I could do that.

I did that.

But I stumbled.

I was shaking so hard I stumbled.

My vision was blurry

I only wanted to take a few steps.

I couldn't see where I was going

My body shook until I ran into things.

I can't show weakness,

But how can I stand tall

When I can't stand at all?

I must stay strong.

I stumbled.

I didn't let that stop me,

I didn't let it make me weak.

But I know I stumbled.